i’m still amazed and in awe that i have this precious gift. i am shaping and teaching a tiny life that will grow up and have his own little personality one day. my prayer is that he will be raised to see that his parents love Jesus. i want to lead by example. i want to treasure each and every day that i get to spend with my little guy, and i’m thankful for the lessons the Lord is teaching me through being a mom…
since leland has been born, i’ve learned to be extremely flexible with time. if i need to run an errand and don’t have the time after he drinks his bottle, then that is ok. i can’t just pack up and run out the door like i used to which is a lesson of patience. for someone who is super independent (like me) and like to be on-the-go….definitely, a lesson of patience.
…i will say though, that is not easy. at least not for us. it has it’s challenges. we went from two incomes- two salaries, to one. and let me clarify a little….neither jay nor i have college degrees. it’s not like jay has some amazing three number salary job that gives us this privilege for me to stay home with leland. i could be working, oh yes, and have some money to live way above our means. you know, get a nice car, go shopping more often, get some fancy furniture, have some saving money…but i don’t think i’m doing that anytime soon. i’ve learned to be content. let me say it again: i’m learning to be content. :) to fix my eyes on the eternal. it’s not always easy. for years, i was able to use my money for shopping and things i didn’t really need but now i don’t really have that opportunity. funny thing is, a lot of that stuff i don’t need any way. and so, it is worth it. i know everyone has their own circumstances and i have a lot of respect for working moms. for us, living simpler, doing photography from home and staying with leland is worth it.
before i had leland i thought to myself “i will never be one of those mom’s whose house has toys every where. toys all over the floor and bouncy seats stacked up in the baby’s room.” to me, maybe i thought i was better than to have toys everywhere. (sad, huh?) welp, guess what? in our house there are toys and leland’s things everywhere. i also thought i could get all of leland’s toys and clothes to be all vintagy and modern but i quickly found that too, was an unrealistic expectation. this “i never will….” mentality was really just my stinkin’ pride. my image- my son’s image…it was all a form of pride. i’m also learning to let this go and live life a little.
five years ago, i never imagined i’d be a mom at this age…it is amazing how His plans are not always our plans and yet how beautiful they turn out to be when we trust Him. i’m so thankful for this little guy- what a blessing he is! (psalm 127:3)