The kids are in bed for the night, and so I wanted to use this time that I have to write a little. Lately, I feel as though my extra free time is minimal. Yes, I have a lot of time but almost all of it is used up taking care of these two precious boys who I love so much. I’ve also been tired from pregnancy which makes things a little harder. In spite of this, I have noticed I’ve been a little hard on myself lately. “How in the world can I really pursue, I mean really pursue my dreams right now when most of my time is taken up? “Am I not pursuing my dreams and ambitions enough?” “Do I even have the energy at the moment to try and go after my BIG goals?” “You aren’t doing anything but the mundane, what about the other stuff you wanted to chase after in life?” …Those are some honest and very real thoughts that have gone through my mind. Sure, I could pursue my big dreams and visions but yet I feel like my kids would reap the stress from that sort of life. When I flipped through a book earlier I stopped at a page I had marked:
“There is a lot of talk out there about dreaming big dreams and going for them. We’re told we should “follow our calling” and “pursue our dreams.” The things is, during the season of life when you have little ones, it’s important to be sensitive to our time and limitations.
The God who gave you your gifts and talents is the same God who gave you souls to bring up, train, invest in, and disciple. I don’t know what His “dream” is for you, but I know that Scripture is filled with admonitions for a mama to make her home her focus and bring up her children. A mama’s primary domain is her home. This doesn’t mean you don’t have another purpose that God wants you to fulfill while you’re breathing on this earth, but your first and main purpose is to deeply invest in the souls He’s given you, and you will struggle immensely if you do not have resolve regarding your role as a mother.
I want you to know that I have struggled with my place in this season of life. I want to be faithful and have integrity with my family and give myself over to them, but I’m not immune to the feeling the “call” of other opportunities that distract me from my main role.” ~Sarah Mae
Those words hit me hard. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling and can relate in every way! My dreams may be put on hold for a season, but it is for the most beautiful cause. Will I still have interests and hobbies and such outside of being a mom? Um, yes…of course!!! But I know that pursuing some of my ‘big’ dreams may be put on hold until my little ones are a little bit older. They need my love and attention right now, and to me (and God)…that is most important. He sees the big picture and I fully trust Him!